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It's only Monday

   

 This song is actually a cry for help, but also to serve as an example of what people with mental illness' go through on a daily basis.  I've suffered from mental illness most of my life but there's only a handful of people that truly understand what a battle it can be to deal with it throughout one's life.  This area of medical issues is perhaps the least understood by doctors and certainly by friends and family that have no experience with it. 

    If you have family or friends that suffer from  clinical depression, chronic anxiety, bi-polar, PTSD, Schizophrenia, OCD, ADAD and others, please understand that these conditions are very serious.  The word "depressed" is over used in general conversation and has some how taking on a meaning of "sad" or "bummed out".  Depression is a chemical issue in the brain that causes deep feelings of a lack of well being for some, for others it can be a complete disconnect with happiness. You can lose yourself.  Losing interest in everything.  Including family, things you once had a passion for, suddenly means nothing.  All you want to do is crawl under a rock and fade away.  It's brutal and very scary.  In my case I've had these symptoms and much more. 

    I've been told by doctors that "it's all in your head" and "you're doing this to yourself"!   There is nothing more harmful than to have a medical professional say something as ridiculous as this to someone with a mental illness.  If you have a loved one with a condition like this, please support them.  Saying things like "shake it off", "you're not going to get anywhere with that attitude" or "you just have to relax",  is harmful, not helpful because statements like that make the person suffering from it, think it's a mind over matter situation, not a true medical condition.  For many, including myself, it's life threatening in that, if untreated it can become worse and worse as time goes by.  Eventually you just can't take it anymore and this is what leads to the taking of their own life.     So please understand that just because you have no experience with a particular disease or condition doesn't mean it's  "all in their head".  Many folks take a very casual or  dismissive stance on mental illness because they use their own experience as a reference for what others are going through.  Be careful.  This ignorance can cause the people in your life with this condition to become worse because they start blaming the condition on themselves, when it's actually a chemical imbalance in the brain.

 

This song is just a small part of what people suffer from,  for days, weeks and more commonly, years when it comes to mental illness. Please be understanding and supportive to the loved ones in your life with these illnesses.  It can make all the difference to them.

C.F. Christopher: Lyrics, music, arrangment, executive producer

Arian Robert: Vocals, mixing/mastering, producer

Intro

 It's only Monday

I still have a ways to go in the week

The Tuesday to Sunday struggle

Sometimes the future feels kinda bleak

 

Verse 1

I disguise my hunger

To living life the way it used to be

Hide the tears and the anger

with a smile so no one else will see

 

Pre-Chorus

Spending every weekend off the deep-end

Thinkin’ “ how did I go wrong?”

Chronic over-thinking’ - debilitating

Waitin’ for a reason to go on

 

Chorus

All of my life I spent hesitating

Most of my days contemplating

About life, about my life

 

Bridge

It’s like breathing under water

A shallow breath is all I need

My road in life that’s out of order

It’s like a wrinkled map, that leads back to me

 

Verse 2

I can’t recall a warning in the moment

To avoid my memories

A counterfeit reflection in the mirror

Instead of the man I used to be

 

Chorus

All of my life I spent hesitating

Most of my days contemplating

About life, about my life

 

Outro

But it’s only Monday

I still have a ways to go in the week...

 

 

    A few side notes on this song. I actually wrote the music for the chorus of this song back in June of 2002 but never worked on it again until 2021 when I was trying to get back into music.  I've been away from it for over 18 years. Partly because life got in the way but also because of health issues that through me for a loop and discouraged me.    When the song was complete in 2022 I dragged my feet to record it because of an acid reflux issue that just won't go away.  This heavily effects the quality of my voice.  After I finally recorded the vocal, I was very unhappy with the result.  I know I can do much better but not while my throat is in this condition.  

    As hard as it was for me to have somebody else sing the song, it needed to be done.  I feel the song would have a lot of meaning to those who suffer from mental illness but the vocals have to be able to do the song justice.  I feel that Arian Robert's voice does just that.

Ann Marie P. "Chris, that is an amazing song! It’s really awesome! Congratulations on such an accomplishment. Hope the worst days are behind you and much brighter ones ahead. Love you"

Cheryl G. "It breaks my heart that you've been suffering like this.  This song is so good, so moving!! You have so much talent and I am very happy you decided to let Arian sing your songs, his voice is beautiful! Your songs are too good not to share. I love you"

Beth "Chris I was just blown away by how beautiful that was! You are incredibly talented!  I was not aware of how serious your mental health issues are because you're always so fun and pleasant to be around."